Parenting Tips Archive

2008-09-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

times to make doctors appointmets

- NEVER make appointments for basic check-ups on Mondays and Fridays.

- Use your nurse phone hotline. Many doctors, health care plans, and hospitals now provide around the clock nurse advice by phone.

- Weekdays from 2pm to 6pm is traditionally a busy time because that’s when sick school kids show up.

- Morning appointments traditionally tend to go quicker and happen faster than afternoon appointments.

- from Jennifer of Pregnancy and Baby

2008-09-23T17:41:00.001-07:00

some people recommend a eat/wake/eat/sleep schedule to ensure baby nourishment and milk production

2008-09-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

infant feeding schedule routine (eat/wake/sleep) by weeks

-from Jennifer of Suite101.com Infants and Toddlers

2008-09-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

You can wait 10-15 minutes before feeding and that is fine. That is, if your baby will wait. A lot of babies are very hungry and ready for food when they wake up--that is how my Brayden (now 2.5) was. Anne Marie also said,

"I have shared with mom's as their baby is on a good routine, got this nursing thing down, milk supply is great etc. and that usually is all in place between 4 - 6 weeks, that it's probably a good idea to have a short space of time between getting baby up and sitting down to feed, so that baby isn't 'conditioned' to think, as soon as I wake up I need to eat."

- from Plowmanators of Chronicles of a Babywise Mom

2008-09-22T20:59:00.000-07:00

how to establish a baby schedule

from riddlej of Life with Little Children

2008-09-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

Preparing finger food for your baby

from Jennifer of Pregnancy & Baby

2008-09-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

healthy finger food for your baby

from Jennifer of Pregnancy & Baby

2008-09-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

ideas of what to do with babies morning, noon, and night

from Jennifer of Pregnancy & Baby

2008-09-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

Naps are not punitive. On the contrary, giving rest to a child that needs it (a.k.a, a toddler who interrupts and whines and disobeys and throws fits) is the loving thing to do.

The Lord, our Shepherd, "makes [us] lie down" to restore our souls. He gives sleep to those He loves. Throughout Scripture, peaceful, secure homes, countries, and places are described as quiet resting places. Indeed, a disciplined child gives rest to his parents. God even planned a day of "rest" in the weekly routine. Regular times of rest are a centerpiece of a well-ordered home.

BUILD A REGULAR HABIT OF REST
This has been a natural part of our home-- as infants, our children take multiple naps throughout the day and sleep well at night. Around 5-6 months, they transition to a two-nap routine (a cumulative four-five hours, split between morning and afternoon naps, with eight-eleven hours of sleep at night), and around 12-18 months, they usually transition to a one-nap routine, which lasts around 2-3 hours, and they keep that up until around age four.

...

However you go about it, I would encourage you to build in a natural cycle of rest into your family's daily life. This does mean that you'll have to be "working at home" and won't be galavanting around the town each afternoon, it's true... but there are worse things than having 2-3 quiet hours to yourself. For example, having 2-3 hours of a whiny toddler throwing tantrums and raising your blood pressure until you pop. That would be worse. Or, having two such children who argue and fight with each other and don't obey and allow no one in the home to have a moment's peace. That would be worse.

But getting rest? Some peace and quiet? Oh, yes, please! If you don't already, build it into your family routine. Your kids (though they may not verbally express it) will voice their thanks over the course of time through good attitudes and a cheerful countenance.

WHAT DO THE KIDS DO DURING REST TIME?
Well, the obvious first thing to do is rest. I strongly believe that until a child can cheerfully occupy himself for the 2-3 hour quiet time AND control his own attitude for the remainder of the day, he needs a nap. Every day.

And yes, sometimes that will mean that you try giving up naptime, only to find that little Sally isn't ready for nap-free life yet (which will be evidenced by her emotional fragility and tantrums thrown throughout the remainder of the evening). So, the next day, back down she goes. Trial and error.

But at some point (which, as I mentioned, with our own children typically happens around four years of age), your child will pass the stage for daily naps. Occasional naps may still be needed, but this child has mastered her own attitudes and isn't crying out (literally) for naps each day.

So when a child reaches the age where they may not sleep during the day, that child still can have a time of rest. For us, what that typically looks like is quietly hanging out with a huge stack of books. I'll find that child a spot somewhere in the house (sometimes on our bed, sometimes on the couch, sometimes at the table on the balcony, sometimes in a cozy corner), and he will read quietly. As the child develops a pattern of consistent awake rest and quiet time, I'll sometimes open up that daily time to include quiet toys (by himself) or coloring. The point is that it will be a time of rest... a quiet, peaceful couple of hours for everyone in the middle of each day.

EXPANDING THIS PRINCIPLE AS THE CHILDREN GROW
As the children grow, I can foresee this being a time of quiet reading, research, journaling, or going for a walk. And as they approach adulthood, this could transition to a time of work-- working with dad, cooking or doing chores, or doing schoolwork.

from Jess at Making Home

2008-09-13T20:12:00.000-07:00

A positive time-out allows for cooling off for both parent and child. Take the child to a cool down place and stay there with them to work things out peacefully.

One mom told me that her time-in place is a corner where they have pillows and a music player and they sit and play soft music while they talk things out. Another mom I know takes her child to the hugging corner and yet another mom I met online has an easel set up with paper and crayons and when she takes her kids to time-in they are asked to draw a picture of what they feeling…anger, sadness, sleepiness, etc. Then they discuss how they can get what they want in the future without the behavior they displayed earlier.

from Tiffany of Natural Family Living Blog

2008-09-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

How does Pastor John handle spiritual training in the home?

Looking back over 31 years of parenting, the things that have been constant are related to the fact that we always knew that the Bible and prayer had to be woven into the life of our family, both between me and Noël privately, and with our children together.

Let me just mention what we aimed to do on a daily basis:

1. We encouraged our children from the very beginning to be alone with the Lord in the morning. That can start as soon as you can prop a child up with a pillow so that he doesn't topple over and bonk his head. You can set a tape recorder beside him with a song about "Jesus loves me, this I know" or a Bible story.

So a child can have devotions from age 1 on, as strange as that may sound, if you train him to have a little time alone to be with God. He can't read yet, obviously, and he won't read yet for another 4 or 5 years. But he can listen and he can enjoy that time. So we did that, and then it turned into Bible stories. Then it turned into giving them their own Bible that they could read, which went on up through teenage devotions.

2. We were at the table together every morning, and I led devotions at breakfast with the children. And if the child is little he just says "Jesus" and that's all he says. But we used to work our way through the Global Prayer Digest so that there was a missions component. And then we read a short passage of Scripture, and I would pray. It might not take more than 5 minutes, because of the children being little.

3. Then in the evening we had family devotions, which was a little longer. We read a longer portion of Scripture, and all the children--if they were able--would pray, not just me. Noel would pray, I would pray, and each of the children would pray. And as soon as they could talk, we taught them to pray.

4. And then when we put them to bed, we tucked them in, blessed them with

The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace,
and joy, and hope, and love, and a good night's rest,
and someday a godly husband. (Talitha will always laugh when I say this last line.)

And then I sing a song for Talitha. And then I give her a big hug. There is a very definite routine that we walk through. And there is a word component even as you tuck the child in bed at night.

That has been the routine for 31 years, basically, though I don't want to create the impression that it is flawless or that we didn't miss mornings or evenings. We did, but this was the goal and the routine. And pretty much we have been able to keep with it.

from Pastor John Piper

2008-09-01T00:14:00.000-07:00

We make time together as a couple a BIG priority. Every night, by 7:30 or 8pm, the kids are all in bed (yes, even the nursing infant who will be fed at 10:30/11:30 before sleeping through the rest of the night)... and we have time together as a couple. Time to talk. Time to chill out in the complete quiet. Time to watch a movie. Time to vent about the frustrations of the day. Time to sit next to each other and read on the couch. Time to do other, ahem, stuff together as a couple. The point is, that we make time for each other, and that is a GREAT part of each day... once the kids are down, we can chill out together for a bit before it's time to hit the sack.

- Jess of Making Home

2008-09-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

We operate on a flexible routine as a family, particularly regarding sleep and meals. We're not extra planned-out sort of people, but for us, having an expected naptime and a certain bedtime for all children makes things much easier. For example, in our home, all kids four and under take naps in the afternoon, every afternoon. Around age four is when, if their attitude allows it, they may begin staying up during naptime. Even still, they must have a quiet reading time for 1 & 1/2 to 2 hours every afternoon. It's good for everyone to have a bit of a mid-day rest and some quiet time each day.

- Jess of Making Home

2008-08-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

Though our flesh and our culture rises up against the notion of discipline, the Word of God says these things about discipline:

A father who delights in his son disciplines his son.
Those who are disciplined rest in the day of trouble.
We show love to our children by diligently disciplining them.
Discipline drives foolishness out of a child.
A well-disciplined child gives delight and rest to his parents. (Contrast that with the frustration and exhaustion of many mothers and fathers today!)
Fathers are commanded to give discipline and instruction to their children.
Those who discipline their children follow the loving example of God.

And it says these things about lack of discipline:

Lack of discipline leads to foolishness and death.
Those who hate and reject discipline are stupid.
Those who despise discipline ruin their lives.
Those who do not discipline are treating their children as illegitimate. Real parents discipline their children.
Those who do not discipline are not seeking good for their children.
Those who do not discipline have only looked at this present time and overlook the harvest of unrighteousness that will come in the future for those who do not learn to heed discipline.

- Jess of Making Home

2008-08-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

Frankly, biblically speaking, it doesn't matter to me whether you feed every waking and sleeping moment of every day, or whether you feed every 3 hours on the nose. Biblically speaking, it doesn't matter to me whether your child sleeps through the night at 6 weeks or at 6 years.

What does matter, biblically speaking, is that you train your child in the way he should go. What does matter, biblically speaking, is that you teach your child to obey you (his/her parents) in everything. What does matter, biblically speaking, is that foolishness is driven out from your child's heart and is replaced with a fear of God and an understanding of what the Lord has done for us, and for this world.

- Jess of Making Home

2008-08-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

If a church asked you to fashion a reading curriculum for the youth (and their parents) of its congregation, 1st grade through 12th grade, consisting of yearly "must reads," grade-by-grade, with one or more fictional, non-fictional, and Biblical/theological/doctrinal works, how would you advise?

Here's the list

2008-08-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

I have done this little cycle with all 8 of mine, so it’s not a fluke (after two or three, I could have thought it was a fluke, but after eight, I don’t see that it’s just luck…) I always start nursing them on a schedule from day one because my newborns are so sleepy that I have to wake them to feed them anyway. By the time they are more wakeful- voila!- they are used to eating, then being awake a little while, then sleeping until the next feeding.

The key, really, is the cycle: Eat, Wake, Sleep. My newborns have a hard time with the “Wake” part, so I usually just try to keep them awake for five or ten minutes after a half hour or so of nursing. Baby goes back to sleep and is awakened by me to feed 2 1/2 to 3 hours later.

- Kendra of Preschoolers and Peace

Read more here

2008-08-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

Regardless of whether Jack learns to count to 100 (properly!) or not, I want him to be “taught by the Lord.” If God so graciously wills, I want Jack’s first year in elementary school to also be his first year in God’s school. Then, I know that regardless of his test scores he will be embarking upon a lifetime of peace.

- Nicole Whitacre of Girl Talk

(read more here)

2008-08-27T23:32:00.001-07:00

http://www.diaperkit.com

make your own nappies

2008-08-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

nature's child bioliners roll of 200

2008-08-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

little squirt nappy cleaner

2008-08-27T23:23:00.002-07:00

we use a combo. We use G-diapers for when we travel because they're disposable and biodegrablable, but you can also stuff them with prefold cloth diapers when you don't need that disposability. Other than that we use a combo of Indian Pre-folds and pre-folds that have been sewn into fitteds by this lady we found online (www.tinkletraps.com) along with snappis fasteners (www.snappibaby.com). We use Thirsties brand covers (www.thirstiesbaby.com) and wool covers (there are pictures of the wool pants my sister made online) And we just love cloth diapering.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:23:00.001-07:00

Spend at least twenty minutes each day of pure smile/giggle time. This is the BEST time of day. It is the perfect excuse to be silly with your baby. Do whatever it takes to make that little one laugh, smirk, twist and turn. Pretty soon, you'll find it becomes your favorite part of the day.

- Emily McKinley

2008-08-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as perfect parents, only parents with perfect intentions. We all make mistakes. We all pray that our mistakes won't hurt our child. But, we must get over our mistakes and move on. Don't ever let anyone tell you that their child never fell, never cried more than five minutes and always slept through the night! Haha. Do your best and love your child more than you ever thought possible.

- Emily McKinley

2008-08-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

If you are having a hard time as a mom--having hard days or not enjoying the experience--tell someone. You may be AMAZED to know that EVERY mom (at least every mom I've talked to) has gone through this, especially during the first few weeks/months. There will be days where you will cry out of frustration, tiredness and loss of control. There will be days when you just want to get out. But, those days are SO few in comparison to EVERY other. And, once you get the emotion off your chest, you'll be a much better mother, wife, and woman.

- Emily McKinley

2008-08-27T23:20:00.000-07:00

Don't look ahead to the next step. Enjoy each and every stage as it is fleeting and is beautiful in and of itself.

- Emily McKinley

2008-08-27T23:19:00.002-07:00

Skip the T.V. Television teaches a child to veg-out and detach. Babies need real people, real conversation, and real stimulation. It's been proven that T.V. is developmentally damaging to children under 3 years of age.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:19:00.001-07:00

"This, too, shall pass" Yes, he might be crying for several hours straight, but he wont cry forever. Eventually he will stop. Hang in there. I had to tell myself "If I can handle 24 hours of labor and an un-medicated delivery then I can handle a few hours of fussiness in the middle of the night, right?"

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:18:00.001-07:00

"He won't _______ when he's in college." Realize that eventually he'll grow out of whatever annoying habit it is and until then be patient.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:17:00.000-07:00

Do whatever you can to be with him as much as possible. That little dude needs his parents. And when you're around each other so much you can really understand his schedule and personality and anticipate his needs.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:16:00.002-07:00

Keep that baby sleeping! When he gets up at night to eat or because he's wet DON'T talk to him. DON'T turn on lights. DON'T do anything to make nighttime interesting. Take care of his needs, lay him down, and get out.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:16:00.001-07:00

Get that baby sleeping! Around week 7 start working on a bedtime routine. This can be as simple as changing him and then singing to him and praying with him in the same place at the same time each night.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Let your husband be his own kind of Daddy. No, Dads don't do it like moms, but their way can be just as good and letting them do it their own way encourages them to be an involved Dad. Matt often has better Fatherly Instincts than my Motherly Instincts.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

Find a baby carrier that you and your baby are both comfy with. Babies who are carried during the day cry a lot less and it leaves your hands free to actually get something done!

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:13:00.002-07:00

Cloth diapers are not nasty and difficult. They're nice on the environment, baby's skin, and your pocketbook.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:13:00.001-07:00

Get help breastfeeding. It may be natural, but it doesn't come naturally. Find a lactation consultant, a friend or family member who's been through it, or join your local chapter of La Leche League. You'll need some help getting through those first few weeks.

- Erin Warmbier

2008-08-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

Breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed. Not only is it the BEST thing you can do for your baby's emotional and physical wellbeing and your emotional and physical wellbeing - it's so cheap! Give it at least 6 weeks before you give up.

- Erin Warmbier